One More Step

Last night was a special one. For the first night in a little over four months, we all slept under the same roof. As we've worked on Christian's treatment from as many angles as are possible, we've been trying to move closer and closer to where we are right now. That is, where we can all safely spend time together. Over the last few weeks our passes have gone really well. We've had some nice visits on campus, several out and about, as well as a couple of home day passes. Last week the team that is responsible for Christian's treatment plan asked if we felt comfortable trying for an overnight pass. Each time we've had a good experience together recently, we've been able to build on that success and did feel ready to take that plunge. 

I was excited...but I was also nervous. There was a strange balancing act happening in my mind simultaneously knowing how wonderful and how terrible the experience could be. Chris and I talked a good bit about our plans for last night and today. 
We also prayed.  A lot. 

They made some ice cream together.  Good thing it turned out...since they've been worrying me to death about it!

Having them both here for breakfast this morning was so good for me. 

It was nice. It was a reminder of good times we've had as a family before and a glimpse of what we can have going forward. There was a lot of normal yesterday that made me feel like a sponge. All I had to do was soak up what was happening here.   
There were also a few moments that made me wonder if we were heading for trouble. 
We're all learning. We're testing the waters and using skills that we've learned in the last few months. We're figuring it out together. 

I read a blog today that I really enjoy and have made mention of before.  The author is Kelle Hampton, and the line that really stuck out in what I read today said ,"Loving, even when it's hard, is the payoff in parenting."  
I get that today.  Loving these children God gave us is sometimes the most effortless thing we do...other times it's hard.  Not hard to say you love them, or know it to the core of your soul... but hard in the work that is required when you love someone so fiercely.  This season we're in is hard.  No doubt about it.  We don't deserve these beautiful little people, so even when it's hard work it is amazing.  

One step at a time.
We're getting there.