Sunday, October 30, 2016

A Season of Change

Just to say that our family has been in a season of change feels like a gross understatement. 
In the last six months, the way our family looks and operates has undergone some construction. 
Between February and September we had six court dates for Christian. In each of those we continued to do as we were asked, while trying to help others see the severity of his needs. During the last of those court dates our parental rights to Christian were terminated. This was simultaneously a blow to our family and a relief to know that now he can get the services he needs through the state. It costs approximately $700 per day for Christian to remain in the program he's been in for the last year and a half. That's an astronomical amount of money, but it means 24-hour care. We are still able to see him and talk to him as we were before, and he's completely aware of what's going on. Chris and I made a decision along time ago to be as upfront as possible with him. 
Our family doesn't match the textbook definition, and we're ok with that. This has been a really difficult situation...but sometimes that's the way life goes. In the last year I listened to a sermon series titled Brand: New by Andy Stanley. Maybe it sounds silly, but I felt like my eyes were opened to this idea that our love for Jesus is authenticated in our love for other people. That felt so concrete and easy for me to understand. At the same time I started to feel ashamed that while I love Christian very much, I can't meet his needs. What does that say about my love for Jesus? I'm still wrestling with that regularly. I can only take comfort in knowing that God knew all of this before we met our boy. I believe that somehow all this will work together for our good and God's glory. 
It's our prayer that we'll be able to remain in contact with Christian and that at some point our family will be able to come back together. 
In case that wasn't enough change, we also moved out of state at the end of August and I've gone back into teaching. 
So. Much. Change. 
Some exciting, some scary, some both.

We took a page out of the Fixer Upper book, and bought the worst house on the best street. 
The first picture is from before we bought it.  There was so much growth, it was difficult to see the whole house.  The color (as lovely as it is) is more true to life in the second shot.  That one is from yesterday.  There's A LOT to be done.  It's slow-going, but getting better all the time. The painters are due out next week and I'm super excited to see the results!

I've been a classroom teacher. I've been a parent. Now I'm both…and that has proven to be pretty overwhelming. It's been six weeks, and I finally feel like that's getting better too.
Finding a balance is no joke

We prayed and talked...and prayed and talked…and then just for fun we prayed and talked some more. After almost a year of that, God shined a light to help us know we were making the right decision. 
More on that next time
For now, please continue to pray for all of us as we find our new normal.