Thursday, September 1, 2011

eating my words

I am a multi-tasker.  
Currently, there are peach preserves finishing up the process in the water bath canner, dinner is in the works, clothes in the washer and dryer, and my mind is full of thoughts to share.
When I was teaching elementary school, if a stay-at-home mom had told me how busy or tired she was I would likely have been baffled.  
I can say with no hesitation that I feel busier now chasing after these two and trying to accomplish the many things that need to be done each week than I ever did as a teacher. 
Staying at home once I had children was never my plan.  Chris and I knew we wanted kids, but we just intended that we would both keep working and put our kids in some manner of day care.  Once we got Christian and I stayed home with him for those first two weeks, I knew something in me was changing.  That part of me which was so happy to teach fifth grade (after all, it was what I always wanted to do) was no longer so content.  Finding out that I was pregnant only added fuel to the fire.  If I wanted to be there with one, I knew I would want to be there with two.  
Being with two children twenty-four hours a day turned out to be a lot more than I had bargained for. :)  
Until Audrey was three months old I was pretty terrified all the time.  I felt like all the sudden I had no identity other than being a mother, and I wasn't a pro at it.  I felt inept to do the job that God was allowing me to do.
Thankfully over time (and with A LOT of prayer and support from my family) I figured out how to find a balance.  This was so difficult since no one could just tell me how to do it!  
My hat is off to the people who work outside the home and raise kids!  I can't imagine working eight hours a day and then trying to squeeze everything else into those precious evening hours.
I am still learning how to make it work; learning how to wear so many hats and trying to wear them well.
I am extraordinary thankful for the life that God has given me.  Things will change, the paradigm will shift, but I'm really loving the right now.

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